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Do you think garage descriptions are boring? You think you can bring your own spicy touch to the Tanki descriptions? In that case, this mini contest is just for you!

— Forum topic for the contest

Fake Description was a writing mini-contest in which you had to write your own funny and genuine description for one of the turrets from the Garage. Your description then had to be submitted via a special form. The entries were judged by their level of creativity and humor.


  • 1st Place: 30 000 crystals + 3 containers;
  • 2nd Place: 20 000 crystals + 2 containers;
  • 3rd Place: 10 000 crystals + 1 container;
  • Consolation prize for worthy entries which didn't make it to any of the other places: 5 000 crystals.


  • 1st Place: Slowburn (entry below)
  • 2nd Place: Ka52Alligator (entry below)
  • 3rd Place: LaszloHunor (entry below)
Consolation prizes:
  • Sp1cy_Tuna16
  • Proximity
  • Greencreeper100
  • crystalmaiden
  • Boss_wit_da_Sauce
  • adab_online
  • Gristiantor
  • Sagar_unbeatable
  • Alpha-tank-XD


You can read the entries of the 3 winners below:


Turret: Isida.
Author: Slowburn (1st place).
Description: Whereas most turrets in Tanki Online are grounded in reality, Isida is the product of dark forces. In short, there is not a single aspect of it which is supported by the principles of physics. Conventional hardware comes equipped with a detailed user manual. For advice on Isida, well, you might as well read the works of Terry Pratchett. Yet, for close combat battles with tanks, trolls or weird creatures from the dungeon dimensions it's the weapon of choice, as the wizardly beam of pure octarine magic arcs through the air to either restore life to wounded colleagues or sap the spirit of enemies until they meet their Death. For best effects, use Isida on a fast hull, but its true zen comes in coordination, where it's mounted on four Mammoths, perched on the back of a giant turtle.

Turret: Freeze.
Author: Ka52Alligator (2nd place).
Description: After years of analyzing the effectiveness of cold weather, scientists from their frozen lands finally realize the most bizarre looking weapon - Freeze. "Don't be fooled because of how something looks," why? Because it does a mega amount of damage through that looking harmless vacuum machine. More insanity, it also can turn you into a solid piece of ice, making it impossible for you to do anything but hopelessly hold your "space bar" to shoot the moon. It is such a great turret to defend for the thieves of flags, but also it is such a funny weapon to use to cheat on racing. "Huh, I may not be the fastest, but I am the fastest one who can do the fastest job of slowing you down."

Turret: Freeze
Author: LaszloHunor (3rd place).
Description: Did you hear about the Ice Age? No? Then it's time to try Freeze. This close combat turret is extremely effective against the sluggish Mammoths. Be careful not to encounter a Firebird because then your effective ice will transform into water and the ice age will turn into a flood.

Interesting Facts

  • There a total of almost 300 entries submitted for this contest, out of which 13 received some sort of prize.
  • This was the first writing-based contest organized by the Contests Organizers team.
  • According to statistics, the majority of the entries were descriptions for Railgun, closely followed by Firebird and then Magnum.

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